What says dive bar rock and roll better than $1000 bottle service? That this spot wants to resurrect that long lost CBGB feeling is really painful to us because everything is manufactured. From the bathrooms, which were splatter-painted and "tagged" to resemble graffiti with faux sayings, to the pop tunes played as "rock" (think Queen, lighter AC/DC, Bon Jovi, a Nirvana top 5), to the expensive drinks (instead of, say, PBR or Schlitz). There's even a velvet rope outside that guarantees that no one, especially that guy in the Dockers, is going to OD in some heroin- fueled evening end. What this Disneyfied version of 1982 will do is make you long for the nostalgia of yesteryear. When P.I.L. or Television might have been on instead of some Brooklyn hipster band. So at least do us a favour, if you come here, please don't be wearing some $145 fake rock shirt from Bloomingdale's; at least have made a pitstop via Trash and Vaudeville and tear it up just a little bit. Because if we see more loafers cross this threshold, we may have to vomit on you. If for no other reason than to channel Sid.

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